Aicaya ⚧ @Aicaya@octodon.social

First pic inked with a crow quill. Definitely prefer it over the usual pens. (cw: nudity)

#art #mastoart #touhou

https://octodon.social/media/5NB3hA9ZouRxT6JBGaE

"There's hindsight, and then there's 'You really should've known better'."

Crow quill and acrylic ink (which suuuucks, I want my India ink back).

#art #mastoart

Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/aicaya

Today I learned it's a bit of a pain to change your Linux username when most of your games are installed via MojoSetup. At least Vim's replace function made the process significantly-easier.

More importantly, my old name is no longer used for the home folder. This will make any future screenshots including the file manager significantly-less awkward.

Took a hell of a lot of research, but I found the info I needed: I can change my gender from abroad. I'll most likely wait until after I've obtained citizenship in whichever country I end up in, but the important thing is that I finally know how to go about this.

I wish I'd known about "The Orbiting Human Circus (of the Air)" podcast sooner. Second and third episodes lifted my spirits in a way they hadn't been for a long while.

[drinks some cider]
...Okay, I feel better now. Sweet, bubbly brain soother.

Knowing this stuff would ease a lot of doubts I've been having. Wouldn't have to move to the EU constantly wondering if I'll never legally be considered a woman. Wouldn't have to move to mainland US to transition while wondering if the step is really necessary and I could've saved tens of thousands of dollars going abroad instead. I'd just make the decision and go for it.

This would be so much easier if I could just transition while I'm here but there's a reason I have trust issues.

At the same time, though, if I don't change either of them before I move to the EU (assuming that plan works out) then I have no fucking clue how to handle that from abroad.

How do foreign governments handle a sudden name/gender change for a visa holder? If I renounce US citizenship do I just get a new birth certificate on the new country or is my identity perma-locked? Neither DuckDuckGo nor Google are helping me with this, I am stumped.

Really wish I could just change my legal name and gender while still in the island without my paranoia rightfully kicking in.

Most of my family's either very socially-conservative or so Catholic they would definitely call the local priest for an intervention if they found out my gender. Doesn't help that for most members mocking others is so deep in their DNA it's impossible to call them out on it—and I KNOW they'd mock me just 'cause they used my preferred name on the fucking cat.

Every time I tried quitting coffee cold-turkey, something would always happen that would force me back into the habit after only a couple days. Kinda glad the same didn't happen this time.

I hear thunder outside. Summer has officially begun; storms should start soon after.

This had better be a mellow year, Atlantic-side. I'm still not over María.

Still really dislike drawing digitally, but I decided to give Krita a proper try. I really like it for doodling and stuff, though my usual paper-focused workflow means it probably won't get much use outside of comic page organizing (already used to Gimp for post-scan clean-up).

(marked sensitive for nudity, as usual)

Learning how to use a different type of nib (crow's really nice and pen-like, but I'd like something with more line variety). Nothing presentable to show, but I'm liking the one I chose. It's kinda like a G-pen in terms of flexibility so I gotta get used to it, but it can make some beautiful lines.

Main downside: drops so much ink onto the page that it takes a long while to dry. Already smudged up a couple parts of the paper with my hand by accident. Gonna need to approach inking differently.

Okay, can log in from Mastalab. Not totally locked out.

Heads-up: Do Not Try The "Mastodon (light)" Theme. I switched to it and now the whole site is inaccessible from the desktop (throws out an error page).

@CobaltVelvet Pinging here just in case.

> points at closet with pan/trans flags taped inside

This is my hole. It was made for me.

Honestly, the true long game I'm playing is one where years after my departure I end up femme-presenting enough that even if my family decides to revive their old stalker-ish tendencies and find out where I live, they won't recognize me and conclude that their leads were wrong.

I'm a mess of health issues as-is so I doubt I'd be able to handle HRT anyway, which means exercising is the only road (and dieting but that's impossible in the current environment so I _have_ to wait until I move out).

Alright, back to exercising daily. Should probably decide which day to make a rest day, though (probably Fridays, since that's what yesterday was).

Most likely gonna take years to get rid of this excess body weight but I don't mind playing the long game. If I can at least leave the island healthier than when I returned, it'll be a success.

Well, the exercising streak's been broken, but the sketching one lives on! It's like I was never rusty to begin with.

Should move on to practicing environments, though. They're not as fun as drawing people but I am fully aware that's just because I don't practice it enough.

That said, I need to try and draw more often, period. Nowadays I start shortly before going to bed (mainly because I'm still weaning myself off coffee and the withdrawal finally started incorporating some nasty headaches).

Assuming I calculated everything right, tomorrow's deposit should be enough to restore internet service. No more mobile keyboard for me!

...I *will* miss Mastalab's ability to show whether a toot is visible, unlisted or private, though. Every time I posted via the web interface there was a moment of "Wait, did I remember to mark this text as unlisted?" Or, "Is this actually-presentable drawing marked public or do I have to delete/reupload?"

Grandma (dad's side) is gonna help with the remainder of the internet debt (not all, but I'll only be missing ten bucks afterwards). Most likely won't happen until next week, though, since her car broke down. Just gotta kill time until then.

Can't use phone data much, though. I get 100MB before the costs start getting high.

Internet's cut 'cause I'm too broke to pay for it, so I'm just gonna upload some sketches via mobile and possibly turn data off afterwards. Maybe someday I'll live somewhere that doesn't charge $100 a month for a decent connection.

Anyway, it's a study from photo followed by style imitation/referencing. Marked sensitive for nudity, as usual.

...I signed up to Mastodon for many reasons, but one of 'em was the chillness. So seeing the main dev get mobbed on account of a feature they're working on is making me uncomfortable.

Just make an issue on Github and discuss the pros and cons there. That's where code discussion typically goes, anyway. And go grab a glass of water and some fresh air. This ain't Twitter—mobs aren't even close to necessary regardless of what you try to justify them with.